John Sammon

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I'm a She-Man and Proud of It

by John Sammon

January 2011

We've all heard the descriptive tag, "he-man." He's a he-man. This supposedly means that you're more of a man than a regular man. If I'm not a he-man, then I suppose, I'm just a man.

What is a he-man? What does that mean? Does it mean you're more sexually potent, more sperms in your ejaculate than I have (if you're a man)? You're just a regular man with 500 sperms per milliliter. I'm a he-man with 6,000 sperms per milliliter.

Is that it?

It can't be. Most of us have about the same number of sperms. Unless you're a woman.

It must be instead, a case of, you-re a bigger man than me, and you can beat me up. Is that what makes you a he-man?

So. We can say. That in our sophisticated society, with millions of people operating their cell phones to send messages via satellites orbiting the earth. That to be a he-man, all you need to do is beat someone up smaller than you.

I'm not a he-man. I would be ashamed to be that. A mere oafish clod who throws his chest out and tries to act the big guy with other people.

I'm a she-man. Does that mean that I don a bra and panties and walk around my apartment, even though I'm a man? That I throw back the curtain at my picture window and reveal my alluring self to Bruce, the muscular contractor laying bricks in my front yard?

If I had an affair with Bruce, technically, I would be a transvestite lesbian.

I might do that if I became bored and lonely enough. But no. I wouldn't do that.

When I say I'm a she-man, that means that I'm a man who also includes in his makeup the more positive aspects of being a female. Like sensitivity. I'm a sensitive man. If you kick a dog three blocks away, I'm the kind of person who will feel it. Is that wrong?

If I was a he-man, I wouldn't care.

What is a he-man after all? There's another saying. He's "all man." If you're a man, what else can you be? This is ridiculous.

If you're a man, you started existence in your mother's womb as simply an egg. You split off from the other (female) chromosome by the merest fraction of a nothing. By a sliver of fate too tiny to see, by an act of chance so miniscule it was never felt or known, by the tiniest (pardon the pun) conception..you became a man. Or a boy, at first.

Now you like to call yourself a he-man. But only by a quirk of nature and fate do you have a (whatever size) male organ.

So we can readily see, your claim to be a "he-man" is based solely on the false belief that you have more sperm, and the fantasy that you can successfully "beat someone up." You probably can if you look hard enough. Look for someone safe to beat up. Look for a midget.

I'll tell you what. Women are cleaner than men. Less violent than men. More civilized than men. More pragmatic than men. They're able to have multiple orgasms whereas men can only have one. Biologically, they are superior to men, outliving them by an average seven years.

Plus, women have gotten much tougher, shouldering the twin burdens of homemaking as well as work. Look at Hillary Clinton. You think you're tough? She can hurt you.

Who wouldn't want to be part of that female success story. If I can incorporate certain positive aspects of the female gender into my own maleness, then I'm going to do it.

I'm a she-man, and proud of it.